January 2011
24 posts
My drunk self wants to kiss you. My sober self wants to be sure. My sober self wins for now as my sober self wanted to kiss you before my drunk self took control. Let’s see.
Talking to people who aren’t British makes me realise how strange and close to non existent the British culture is. We are viewed mostly as binge drinking soulless people who fall in love at the drop of a hat. I can’t honestly say that I disagree.
We are lost.
I’m a complete geek whose strongly considering going to a larp event on Sunday. Running around bashing people with foam swords while shouting ‘critical hit? Why not? It’s like a game but with added loserishness.
9 tags
The Geometry of Sleep
I lay motionless.
My body restive in the shapes of comfort. I face the west, slightly south but mostly west. My left hand under my head, my right at the elbow of my left arm. Left leg slightly bent and right leg folded at an angle slightly larger than that of 90 degrees. This is the shape of comfort.
My body memorizes these geometric shapes and stores them for further times of comfort.
I lay...
9 tags
Maybe This Time; A Letter To The Shore
We crash into each others lives continuously. When we do it is often violent and both our heads become full of more than we could ever begin to measure. Then silence, a peace almost like death.
To turn a phrase I would say it is the same way in which the ocean crashes to the shore and then drifts away again. Honey, you’re the shore and I’m always leaving. You may not believe me but it feels...
Paranoia failure to launch
So. I Check my emails and see I have a private message on my ‘hidden’ blog (that I no longer use) and also on my formspring.
At this point I immediately assume that it’s abuse of some sort from a wonderful anon.
So I go through the whole paranoid process of remembering log ons and passwords just to find out I have spam.
Thanks. I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed.
This year
I’m not getting into a relationship unless it’s 100% worth it. I’m not going to rush into anything. I’m too easy to get sick of, so id much prefer it if people got sick of me before they start dating/sleeping with me.
No more affairs of the heart.
I'm no Jimi Hendrix...
But learning guitar is going well. Once I pick it up o don’t ever want to put it down. To every guitarist out there, I get it now, I understand.
Well I have a lot to learn yet but I’m happy with how it’s going. Feels nice to be productive for a change.
I’m not sure I believe in love anymore. Or maybe I don’t believe it will happen to me again. I think somewhere along the line I messed up karmically. Now I’ll never be allowed. I will die an old woman and alone. I strongly believe this.
“I don’t like to use words like forever but I will love you to the end of...”
– David Ford, song for the road
Some things are timeless. I love those things. I would give my heart to be suspended in time with timeless things and timeless people. I love you.
agronsy asked: don't lose faith in yourself~ <3
notes on prev post
Its no where near finished, I have the first draft of the second part but I just cant bring myself to work on it right now as its heavy going.
Would like opinions.
x
9 tags
Sheltered From The Storm, part 1
He came to her door that night unannounced and uninvited. His feet rustle the dead leaves on her porch and creak the weary floorboards with each sure and steady step. These familiar homely sounds announce him more certainly than any tuneless chiming of a bell.
She opens her door to the sound of his approach and there he stood, like the meaning of his name; Lee, sheltered from the storm. A...
But first,
Walk, work and wander.
Alliteration is my lover.
Time to start writing again, none of this nonsense. Time to finish the piece that cuts close to the bone, the only thing I’ve written with any real potential recently and I’ve been putting it off. Shameful.
Either tonight or tomorrow, expect to see that.
x
Waffle storage
Hopefully going to the old wardle storeys plastic factory in brantham soon. A lovely day out amongst some wreckage and run down buildings.
It will be a good place for photographs, I’ve wanted to explore it for some time now. So very glad I finally will be.
I see scars, I see sparks, I see shards of glass,
I see it all slipping through my fingers.
And I am unable to stop it.
So far the new year is like the last one but lonelier.
Dear everyone.
I’m a pretty shoddy friend and I apologise. That doesn’t make it better but I thought you should know.
If you feel second rate or that I don’t care that’s honestly not the case I’m just a self centred bitch I guess. Sometimes I get paranoid too, think that nobody really likes me. I like to make things hard for myself and anyone who knows me.
This isn’t meant...
My ears hurt.
Dream
I dreamt of my ex, the one from derby, Sarah. I dreamt I had bumped into her working behind a bar but I couldn’t remember her, I just knew she was beautiful and I wanted to get to know her. Obviously she hated that I didn’t remember her and was really mean to me. I deserved it, I finally remembered who she was and the dream ended.
I had another dream I was visiting the sushi factory...